Thursday, June 26, 2008

Things to Never say to a Woman

I read an article on MSN that talked about the ten things not to say to a woman. Go HERE to read it. I enjoyed it as it was very true... So, here is my take on a few statements on their list...

"Relax." Nothing gets a woman's blood boiling like being told to relax. If we could relax, we would. Being told to "relax" or "calm down" doesn't help anything. At all. Our emotions may flow like water from a tap, but they are not as easily turned off.

"Should you be eating that?" Okay...so I swore my diet was starting today. Okay, so I told you that I wasn't going to eat the brownies, cake, ice cream, pizza, etc... But I am. You caught me. I am already feeling bad enough about myself. DON'T MAKE IT WORSE. It will only get me upset...then you will have to tell me to "Relax!"

Here are my additions to the list:

"You never told me that." We most certainly did. Our general response is that you NEVER listen. You should simply admit defeat and just say you are sorry and that you forgot and how in the world can you make it up to us. Because if you blame me--when I KNOW we had a discussion regarding whatever you have forgotten already-- then I will get upset, then you will have to tell me to "Relax!"

"What are you making for dinner?" If there are pots out and I am obviously cooking something, that questions isn't that bad. If I am lying on the couch trying to recover from a long day with a two-year-old and there is no sign of dinner, your better question is, "What would you like me to make for dinner?" or "Where would you like take-out from?"

"Do you really need another ______?" Fill in the blank with whatever you think your woman has too much of...shoes, make-up, clothes, pedicures, manicures, hair appointments... The answer is always, YES! Even if the boots I just bought look almost identical to the two other pairs of black boots in the closet already, there is obviously something different about them. You are just too much of a guy to understand the subtle differences. We feel we "need" these things. We feel we "deserve" these things. And, unless we are so broke that we will be evicted from our house, we will have these things.

"Nothing." By nothing, I don't mean the word "nothing". I mean you saying nothing at all. Not opening your mouth to speak. I know, you probably think as a guy that you can't get in trouble for saying the wrong thing if you don't say anything at all, but trust me. No response is a bad response.

3 comments:

"Constance-1-M" said...

Ok the dinner one Kicks. My. Ass. every single time. I cannot stand to be asked that question when I've been home from work for 12 minutes & already told him that the morning sickness & I fought all day.

AAAAAAAARGH.

No female judge would convict me.

"Constance-1-M" said...

Ok the dinner one Kicks. My. Ass. every single time. I cannot stand to be asked that question when I've been home from work for 12 minutes & already told him that the morning sickness & I fought all day.

AAAAAAAARGH.

No female judge would convict me.

ConstanceTheSuper said...

I'm with you on "You never told me." Yes I did, jackass, you just ignored me. And acted like you were listening, so I am doubly pissed off now. Seriously, how can you have a conversation where both parties are talking and responding to each other's comments and one person apparently was absent mentally?